dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
