The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize