Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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