No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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