Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
