She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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