I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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