We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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