After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
