So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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