Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize