i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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