I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize