i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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