i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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