I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
