So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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