Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
