She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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