So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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