im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
