I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
