He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
