i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
