Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
