i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am midnight drunk by noon
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
