just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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