Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were trust falling into bushes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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