I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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