i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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