So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
