direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
