Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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