i think i have herpe
just one?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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