direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
