After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
