Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
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I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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