whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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