it wasn't lemon gatorade
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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