I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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