he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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