Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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