so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Pants are for mortals
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
