talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
