sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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