how can u be prego again
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
