so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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