I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
