but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
