Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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