Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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