Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Acid is not a monday night drug
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
