I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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