508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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