i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
As shirtless as possible
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This is my gift to your gina
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
