Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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