Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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