I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
