I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
