party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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