can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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