so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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