Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize