he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
