The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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