Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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