should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
