When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
