She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
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We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it