the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...